Letters to Holly

Monday, April 5

Cooking With Villainy: Alfredo Sauce

I really should start these weekend recaps during the weekend instead of trying to remember everything Monday morning.

It was my turn to make dinner Friday night, and I tried to make alfredo sauce again. My first go was a shame. Too watery, too bland. It was milk soup. This time, I goosed the recipe.

Wait, I need to do this properly.

Doom obey a paltry retail cookbook? DOOM HEEDS NO COOKERY CROCKERY! Doom freestyles because Doom has mad moves, yo!

The effrontery of this impudent pamphlet amuses Doom, and Doom bequeaths it precious Doomblog time. Laugh along with Doom. That was not a request.

1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup grated Parmesan
1/4 tablespoon salt

Doom commands you to combine the butter and cream in a medium size skillet over medium heat. Doom DEMANDS you add another 1/3 cup cream.

Doom commands you to allow the butter to melt and turn the heat to low when the sauce begins to bubble.

Doom commands you to stir frequently for six minutes then turn off the heat.

Doom commands you to add 3/4 cup of Parmesan. Now you must add another 1/2 cup.

Doom commands you to stir the cheese until it melts. When thoroughly melted, you may now salt and a dash of pepper.

Doom commands you to toss with noodles.

Doom commands you to indulge.

And with these changes, that sauce was magnificent. I didn't make enough noodles, but we used a loaf of bread to sop and sop. We practically licked the pan. I jotted down the changes in the recipe book.

We shopped Saturday for larger maternal clothes. Many shirts were tried. Many looked ridiculous. Your Sister noted earlier in the day that she had belly cleavage -- other women were staring at her tummy instead of making any eye contact. We figured the ugliest maternity shirts (and their stupid, stupid collars) were meant to draw the eyes away from the Roo. She found some items, but one pair of capris was too long, and I suggested she add a second hem button higher up on the pants leg.

We hopped over to Best Buy to see the iPad display, and we got hands-on time. I can see the first-impression appeal. If I walked off the street with no notion of what other gadgets can do, I'd buy one. However, playing with one shows the limitations. As the salesman said, it's a wireless iMac. That's not a selling point to me. It's a half-laptop minus the webcam, mic, keyboard, and the ability to run some browser software. Also, why would anyone use the included NYTimes app to read text blocks of breaking news when the Safari browser lets you read the entire paper with photos? My opinion stands: It's a halfway device, and the subsequent models should be the true innovations.

One interesting notion might be the digital distribution of comics. Many companies have tried to become the iTunes of comics online, and the publishers are nervous about it because of easy online pirating. They don't release their full monthly libraries online. But the new Marvel iPad app might be the first big landmark. Most comics are sold nowadays through what are called direct-market shops. There are very few issues in grocery and convenience stores anymore and bookstores don't want single issues to deal with anymore. But there aren't that many direct comic stores nationwide. I'm lucky to have been in towns with a store nearby, although the newest one is close only because I have an commute for an hour to work in its town. The iPad could make comics widespread again when the price on the machine comes down. Writer Warren Ellis noted that if Marvel sells 4,000 copies of its app, that would surpass their number of retail outlets. That sounded low, but the Barnes & Noble website states they only have fewer than 800 stores nationwide.

She attended an Easter mass that night, and I stayed home to ink. As of Sunday night, I have inked four pages. They ain't great, but they're clear, and that's what I want. After just two days of inking, I'm almost a quarter done. This is fucking shocking. My eyes felt the strain of working with tiny pens, and I ran a little. This worked up an appetite, and we devoured bar food.

Pictures of the Toil
Here's the first page. The style of the first panel's building reflections were swiped from an artist named John Romita Jr. They saved a crappy drawing. That empty circular sign will have lettering added on the computer.


Anonymous said...

the page looks nice!

and now, my best story from the weekend:

i took the kayak out this weekend, anticipating that I would go Sun and Mon. But once again, the first day is thwarted by the semi-annual "Remove Spidery Inhabitants Day." The kayak, which normally stand up against a friend's house and has a cockpit cover, had blown over in the last snow storm and the cover had crept up, exposing a corner. This allowed entry of THE LARGEST WOLF SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN. Head and abdomen the size of my thumb, with 2-3 inch legs. It was big and hairy. Non-venomous, but a bite from it would hurt and infect easily. Not as scary as the black widows, but startling non-the-less.

Gregory said...

Cripes. We'll buy you a flamethrower.

Now I've got imaginary spiders on my legs.