Letters to Holly

Thursday, April 13

The Roof Is On Fire

Because tomorrow is Good Friday and the office will be closed, I keep thinking today is Friday. I’m all screwed up.

We did catch the soccer game last night and chatted with Charisma and Keith. They just had a baby (one of the many who now swim in the Parent Pool). The game was fun to watch, but the school lost decisively. We joked about being bad fans, shouting like John McEnroe at the refs, and how Angry Dad would behave. Then we noticed Angry Dad was indeed there. When we left, we said hi to his wife and he ignored us, which is to be expected. I don’t think he has anything personal against Your Sister. He’s just a terrible sports fan.

As we drove to a restaurant to grab dinner, we noticed smoke pouring out of a roof up the road. As we got closer we noticed one of the car-repair garages (a majority of the small businesses in town) had a fire in the back of the garage. It hadn’t started long before we got there. The owners were aware of it and clearing people away. I used Your Sister’s cell phone to call 911, and the operator said they were aware of it and on the way. As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot, the garage roof went up. People there noticed the fire only after we turned to look at it. We walked in to get a table and pointed out the fire to the hostess. This alerted the diners, and almost all got up to watch the fire, which was sizable by now. The hostess snuck a peak, and then started to seat us.

Her: Smoking or nonsmoking.

Us: (looking at fire) Um, non.

The fire was out by the time we left. The wooden roof was gone, leaving a metal shell of the façade. When we got home, we watched “Lost” and a little bit of “Good Eats” and went to bed.

Before I got home, however, Your Sister called me to say she was going to a conference in Columbia in two weeks. This will happen on the day we planned on seeing They Might Be Giants. She won’t make it to the show. I will still be going, and now I wonder how best to find someone who wants her ticket. I might just go uptown and ask various shop owners if they can announce a fake contest where the first person to … I dunno, walk to the counter, gets the ticket. This stinks a little. I was hoping for both of us to go.

Picture of the Day
Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor in the new Superman movie. Not only does this new film refer back to the first two Superman films, but Spacey makes a great replacement for Gene Hackman. I cannot wait for this film.

In the news
In order to scare up movement against Iran, the State Department is saying Iran can make a nuclear bomb in 16 days. But nuclear scientists say that Iran can’t make a nuclear weapon for possibly another ten years. That doesn’t mean Iran can’t buy one. But then any nation could if it could find a desperate enough seller. Condi’s thrown out some tough talk against Iran as it steps up nuclear enrichment. The fear is that a crazed Iranian president (and he does like to say macho things) would nuke Israel. He’s gone on the record as denouncing that country.

But this was the same justification for going into Iraq: Saddam was financially supporting suicide bombings (true, from what I’ve read) and could drop nukes there at will. That was a key push of Powell’s WMD argument. But even if the State Department is right, and even if there is solid evidence Iran pans to build and launch a nuke, the administration has already used up its credibility with accounts of WMDs in Iraq. Just this week, a report announced that the White House touted the discovery of WMD trailers in Iraq while no evidence of their function existed. The White House now says it didn’t intentionally mislead anyone and blames bad intelligence. It’s going to be difficult to go back to the U.N. and assert the same need for action that we used against Iraq. Then again, the Iranian president is such a blowhard that he may be slitting his own throat with aggressive taunting of Western powers.

Today’s moral: The leaders of a handful of countries are throwing out tough talk over who has the right to strike first at the other. Lost in all this are the assertions from the Pentagon and pundits that all the Iraq WMDs are in Syria, a country whose border has seen some skirmishes with our military as we push insurgents out of Iraq. This means, the Iraq war front expands outward on two sides while we still fight in Afghanistan. That’s a lot of ground to cover with an exhausted, under-financed military.

Wednesday, April 12

What a Day for a Mow

The weather was too good to stay inside once I got home. I changed clothes and mowed the lawn. Since this was the first cut of the year, and we’re still not out of frost weather, I didn’t cut as deeply as I otherwise would. Just enough to tidy the appearance. Your Sister weeded the front walk. Next, I’ll use the weed-eater on the lawn edge, rake up the tree debris, and till the garden. We also want to use railroad ties to border the garden soil and move the compost pile behind the workshed.

We watched the episode of “West Wing” that ran two Sundays ago. We still have to catch the most recent episode, but it won’t be tonight. We’re going to a girls’ soccer game at the high school, followed by dinner out. I doubt we’ll watch tonight’s “Lost.” But we can catch it Friday as we both have the day off.

Picture of the Day
ThinkGeek.com is offering stuffed virus and disease characters. This it HIV.

In the news
Iran’s enriching uranium. U.N. council debates on sanctions are split between the U.S./Europe and Russia/China.

+ + +

If one listened to the Rush Limbaugh show yesterday about 12: 40 eastern, you would have heard him relate a story about dining with a friend and an unnamed liberal media person. Limbaugh talked about how the latter two argued at the table over immigration. The liberal was saying he approved of poor people coming to America to improve their lives. At this point, the Rush friend is said to have gotten irate and asked if the liberal would want them to come into his back yard “and date his daughter.”

And there you have it, the white male fear: The dirty people want our women. Forget the expenditure of emergency room healthcare, mystery plaques, terrorist plots, school integration, suspected crime waves, and the increase in language evolution. We can’t have them dating out women. It’s straight out of Victorian cliche where a big, black Bushman (or, many times, a gorilla) scampers off with the African explorer’s damsel. Rush said that he later tried to calm down his friend, to explain how the liberal thought himself the debate winner because he displayed more compassion and that he probably thought Rush’s friend was a bigot. Given how Rush himself told the story, he certainly sounds it. And Rush didn’t call him on it as he should have. One can’t be surprised to hear this kind of shit spouted as a rational support to their exaggerated, ratings-hungry rants, but it’s still startling to hear each time.

Oh, and his theory on the immigrant influx: Post-Soviet communists have created shadowy organizations to drive immigrants into the U.S. to destroy the government. No, really. He cites the Roman and Greek empires crumbling from within because of immigrants. That would ignore the collapse of the empires by over-extending their resources across the globe.

Tuesday, April 11

Rasslin for Dummies

Got home last night and Your Sister reminded me that we wanted to adopt library books. As the Mayberry Library finally moves to their new digs, they’re asking patrons to take home boxes of books to ease the move. We take four boxes with us and find the library folks aren’t really sure what limit there is, if any. We load up. I aim for the arts section and get a graphic novel, some books on influential art and photojournalism, an Andrew Vaachs mystery, a few Heinlein paperbacks, a collection of “Fresh Air” interviews, at least one Stephen King, a Jeeves anthology, a David Mamet novel (I didn’t even know he wrote them), a history of Captain Kangaroo (which delighted the wife), and a hernia from carrying them all.

When we got home, I started making the wings for the guests. They show up exactly as the oven announces the dinner’s done baking. Travis, Kathy and Tonia the German Exchange Student have little to no wrestling exposure. Kathy watched some when she was in fifth grade while hanging out with boy pals, Travis knows some names, and poor Tonia thought we were going to watch amateur wrestling. I make the offer again to pause the show at any time to fill them in on characters, motives, and angles. We sit down at nine to watch the show.

9:00-9:20 A long talking segment as John Cena, Edge, and Triple H sell their upcoming pay-per-view match for the title. All conversation turns to Lita’s fake chest. Does she use double-sided tape for that shirt? How can she wrestle with those? And Kathy, the expectant mother, says that’s how her chest feels these days. As follows the audience pattern, Travis and I aren’t warming up to Cena while the women are getting hot and bothered over him. Kathy loves his army haircut. Tonia is dazzled by his arms. Tonia, however, is mortified by Triple H. She loves the Lord of the Rings films, and Triple H looks exactly like Bormoir. She physically turns away from the TV and says he’s gonna ruin the films for her. Triple H offers the Evil Handshake Gesture, and Travis and I quickly explain how this always, always, always works: The good-guy hesitates to shake hands, knowing the bad guy will in some way embarrass or assault him. But, being the good guy, he wants to display sportsmanship. He’ll extend his hand and either a) watch the evil hand quickly retract and fix the bad guy’s hair; b) get decked with a clothesline; or c) have the bad guy spit in his face. Instead, Cena, quickly walks to Triple H, slaps him, and walks off. That wins us over. We hate stupid good guys, and Cena has proven that he too watches wrestling and knows the traps.

Kathy is dismayed by all the talking. She wonders if there are any smaller guys, and I explain they’re on the Friday show. We also all compare notes on Ric Flair, known to even the most causal of fans.

9:25ish Rob Van Dam vs. Rob Conway. The match does nothing for the new folks, and Kathy, Tonia, and Your Sister instead talk about the handsome, evil Shelton Benjamin sitting at ringside. Tonia laughs at the Five-Star Frogsplash.

Maria interviews Mickie James, and Kathy cracks up over Maria’s dress.

Kathy: Is she supposed to look like she walked out of a cartoon?

Me: You mean, um, larger than life?

Kathy: Exactly.

Me: Yeah.

Kathy mistakes Maria’s giddy personality for the actress’s inability to keep a straight face during the interview.

9:30ish to 10ish The Spirit Squad immediately wins over Kathy. She and TLMT talk about dropping wrestling references to their classrooms and how it can get the attention of the bored male students. Their opponents are Kane and Big Show, massive gigantic giants, and we all discuss where they can buy clothing (Very Big and Very Tall Shops). So far nothing has convinced Tonia this is worth her time until she sees the replay of cheerleader Kenny hitting a big legdrop from the turnbuckle during last week’s show. She’s gobsmacked by the hangtime, and now she’s watching intently. The Squad does what they specialize in and fly all over the ring even when they get hit. Kathy is in hysterics (“They’re like little monkeys throwing themselves at him!”). The Squad members scream whenever Kane throws them around, and we all crack up over it, rewinding to watch it over and over. Kane goes nuts and scares off the Squad before turning on his partner. When he chokeslams the larger Big Show, all are impressed.

Kathy: So this runs from 9-10, right?

Me: (with bad English accent) This one goes to 11.

This, however, doesn’t work for them as Kathy has to leave. They almost get out the door when Vince and Shane McMahon walk into a church to talk to God. Vince decided that if Shawn Michaels wanted to rely on God to get him through their feud, then God can be Shawn’s tag partner at the next PPV. The skit works for all of us as we crack up over Vince’s arrogance and wait for the divine lightning bolt that never comes. With that over, the gang has to leave. I think Kathy wants to make this a regular event, and I’m all for it.

And speaking of expectant mothers, we ourselves went through a pregnancy scare. Your Sister was feeling weird in some unusual places for a few days, and we bought a pregnancy test. It gave us a “negative.” During the time, we talked a bit about having a kid as we’ve done before. We still prefer the idea of adopting, but one of us would need to stay home with it for the first few years unless we adopted a kid old enough to go to school. I’d rather not work so far away if we had a child, but there’s nothing in town for someone with my skills. The local paper looks like it hasn’t upgraded its technology since the end of the Reagan administration. But frankly, I’m too selfish to share her with a kid right now. I want to enjoy the time we have on our won as a couple. There are a slew of pregnant gals in our social circle, including a number of teachers.

Picture of the Day
This is a recent Star Wars character piece by comic-book master Adam Hughes. I want my SW drawing to be able to stand next to this.




In the news
A European spacecraft has entered orbit around Venus. NASA announced it will send a craft to crash into a moon crater to search for water. We should be able to see the impact from Earth. This kind of simple experiment is what budget cuts have lead to.

+ + +

A local radio host, a guy who prides himself on taking independent positions, is raving in the immigration debate. His new sound bite is that all English-speaking people will be relegated to history books as we are run off the continent. I’m willing to concede that North America may eventually lose pure American English and take on more Spanish, but it’s done that for over a hundred years. Most of the lingo from Westerns is from Spanish. American English is all about assimilating slang. Consider how much French and German we use regularly. The supposition that a pure Queen’s English, white-dominated America is the epitome of social evolution is mindless. Populations evolve. Languages evolve. Laws evolve. This hardline “us or them” mentality is just going to get some one killed. I keep hearing the stat that 11 million (presumably Mexican) immigrants are threatening our national sovereignty. That number represents barely 10 percent of the country’s population. Ten percent. I’d hardly call that the invasion force that the Minutemen want us to perceive.

+ + +

The Cubs have a 4-1 record and lead their division.

Monday, April 10

My Hair Was Mugged

Friday, we happened to run into Travis, Kathy, and Tonia at the local pub and talked for hours. Travis is playing a computer game that I recommended a while back, and I was able to help him work through a tricky area with it. I talked Harry Potter with Tonia, while Your Sister and Kathy talked teacher stuff. Then we walked over to Jason’s or dessert. A good night all around.

Remember when I discovered I could hear 1030 AM WBZ out of Boston? I beat that Friday night. 1010 AM CFRB. Toronto. Canadian radio. It's madness. I'm gonna try for Russian military chatter next week.

Saturday was full. I started off tinkering with the lawn mower to get it ready for use again. You have to tick through a checklist” change the air filter, change the spark plug, replace the oil, replace the gas, sharpen the blade. It’s not as bad as it seems to begin with. Then one finds that there is no direct spark plug replacement for the one that comes with the mower, and the charts for plug replacements at the local hardware stores don’t even list Briggs and Stratton, the guys who made my mower. Fortunately the local store owner recommended one to me that worked just fine. Also, I had no idea mowers held so much oil when I took out the drain plug. I turned the mower on its side and unscrewed the plug. I assumed the oil, being all old and goopy would just ooze out. No. Oh., no. The mower sneezes the oil at you. Once the plug is removed, you’ve got a gusher or thick, jet-black crud spurting out. This, you might imagine, can be surprising.

While I was out getting mower parts, I swung by the regular shop for a haircut, and the stylist this day just about shaved my head. In fact, as I sat there feeling the clippers drag along my skull and watching clouds of hair tumble to the floor, I remember saying to myself, “I wonder if this is what it feels like to have your head shaved.” Yes, yes it does. Because that’s what he did. I have hair, but not much. And it’s all one length. I look like I just left the army barber. The ladies at the office say I look like Jack from “Lost.” They are what we call “drunks,” and they are not to be believed. I was mortified by the haircut. It’s embarrassing. Eight-year-old redneck boys sport this style.

We ran to Target to buy baby-shower gifts, but the store wasn’t stocked well enough to match the registries. Your Sister instead opted for gift cards. We spent the rest of our time there buying a bathing suit for her. Let me tell you this, young Holly, this can be the most treacherous thing a husband can attempt with his wife. In fact, we tried this once before about a year back, and it went horribly wrong. Tears were involved, and in both of our defenses, Your Sister picked a really bad suit. It was the suit’s fault. Your Sister isn’t fat or ugly, but that suit had too much ugly to overcome. This time, however, we decided to mix and match, and found a winner based on the bottom piece which is made for guys. This gives her the tomboy look she craves, and we found a top without much trouble. We spent maybe an hour going through all the options, but we both enjoyed it. I like to shop, and she was encouraged enough by the combinations to have fun with it. Mission accomplished. We strolled to Old Navy where she found a shirt for me she really took a shine to, and she picked out some lighter summer gear for her.

On Sunday, I reassembled the mower and chopped up some wood for the firepit. I also tore down the ugly ivy clinging to the workshed. We grabbed some lunch at the pub (same as Friday night) and got groceries. We’re having the pub couple and Tonia over tonight for wings and wrestling. I’ve never made this many before, and I’ll have to catch them all up on the wrestling stories. It should be a blast. Last night, we watched The Paper, a Ron Howard ensemble film about a New York daily’s employees. Great film, really shows you how papers work. Or don’t work.


Sketch Day
As I noted last week, we’re moving along on the Star Wars pic. I wanted to try a more detailed style for this one and asked Your Sister to pose for me for both figures. The figure on the right will be modeled after you. These pictures show how I can take multiple photos and mash together the best parts of each for the pose I want to draw. I lightened up the pants on the second picture to better see the folds.

In the news
Rallies around the country today will focus attention on immigrant rights. As I said before, I’m against the easy bigotry and paranoia that slide into this debate. But is the legal process for entering the country that limiting? We provide an inspiration and culture for capitalist self-determination, and that lures people from all over. We can’t criminalize their desire to be here, but we can’t collapse our laws for coming here. How many people can be granted refugee status if they aren’t escaping a warzone? I’m all for a program that legalizes everyone that steps forward within a certain amount of time. If they’ve worked here for a time, they then have the means to pay for a retroactive legalized worker status. But if they don’t step forward within the time allowed, then they have to go back and come in legally. Let’s be fair and helpful for those who now have a better financial footing to afford the legal process. But only for a certain time. I’m still not for walling off the border; that’s too draconian for me.

+ + +

Part of the controversial youth worker law has been chucked by Jacques Chirac.

+ + +

A New Yorker article stated the U.S. is planning nuclear airstrikes against Iran. This comes from the same writer who first reported the Abu Ghraib abuse. The potential to use nukes comes from a 2005 decree that the administration reserves the right to nuke someone who poses a nuclear threat by those who might feel threatened and attack first. Baffling, isn’t it?