Letters to Holly

Friday, March 24

Useless Snow

It’s no good unless it gets me at of work. It’s flying around like mad outside my office window, but it won’t stick.

Your Sister’s cold has now settled in her chest, giving her a most reptilian voice. We watched some “Jeopardy” and “Mythbusters” before she went to bed early. I organized some old paper files and drew a bit before calling it a night. She’s going to be gone most of tomorrow helping another teacher get reading for her wedding, and I find myself with no clue how to have a bachelor night in Mayberry.

UPDATE: Looks like I'll do nothing. I'm getting the rough throat that signals the onset of sickness. Joy. Rapture.

Picture of the Day

The view outside my window. If our office was a few thousand feet higher, I’d be home right now.


In the news
With both UNC and Duke out off March Madness, I no longer care who wins.

+ + +

Rumors again swirl that Rumsfeld will step aside to give the GOP a scapegoat going into the mid-term elections.

+ + +

The Supremes ruled this week that police cannot make a warrantless search of a house if both occupants do not agree. There’s debate on whether this will hamper investigations of domestic abuse.

Thursday, March 23

Love Me With Glaze

One of the boons of being Publications Manager is that local printers bring you doughnuts to win your business. I’ve had this one guy calling us once a week for more than a month, and today he brings a bakery bribe. There are no plain glazed, and thus he does not win my affections. Fie upon him.


We ate Mexican last night and watched a new “Lost.” The season is close to wrapping up, and it appears the season will end with some shake-ups possibly as seismic as what happened this time last year.

Picture of the Day
Undeniably, the funniest ad campaign in many a moon.



In the news
You know all the rhetoric that there was no warning about 9/11? Turns out, um, not so much. The sentencing phase of the Moussaoui trial hinges on the argument that the FBI and FAA could only have prevented 9/11 if the “20th hijacker” had told authorities what he was up to when he was arrested the month before the attack. But FBI agents and others are testifying that they tried to warn superiors that something was up at flight schools concerning the hijackers-to-be. This means a) the feds knew about these guys; b) they didn’t heed field agents’ concerns about their plans; and c) they are trying to shift all blame to the one guy they did capture. I think the guy deserves to burn. If he was involved, yeah, he’s got to go. But let’s be clear: Those who shrugged off the alarms deserve some public flogging as well.

+ + +

Snakes on a Plane just got awesomer.

Wednesday, March 22

Do Not Go On With The Show

The school hosted a Theatre and Dessert event last night, offering coffee, cake, and short performances by the drama kids. This is the same group whose teacher asked me to give notes to after watching their one-act play last year. What I didn’t know until after I had taken the notes was that they were leaving the very next day to perform. My notes would have been meaningless as they had no time to rehearse after hearing them. Mostly, I gave them basic stage advice: speak up, turn to the audience, know what your character means even if you don’t understand all the words. Very basic stuff. This event was to show off what these kids were readying for a statewide competition on April 1. I was in competitive drama in my senior year of high school so this was right up my ally. But I wouldn’t be taking notes this time (wasn’t asked), and I could just watch the kids show their stuff.

Their stuff, however, is weak. It all began OK. The school office lobby was strung with lights and filled with fancy table settings. It was a small gathering of parents, the kids, Heidi, and me. We sat with Ms. D’Onofrio, the sister of Vincent, the guy from “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.” Heidi knows her son well, having taught him at least one year. Great kid. Handsome as hell and seems genuinely nice, at least around us old folks. Heidi, her, and another mom talked up school and kids while I counted the strewn coffee beans on the table cloth. This is normal. There’s very little I can offer for school talk except to say what I remembered from days as a student in another school district in another state. The dessert was great, and the kids were the wait staff. It’s a nice touch and, as Ms. D’Onofrio said, prepares them for a life as actors holding real jobs. I recognized one of the girls from her article in the town paper; she’s going to be in a movie produced and filmed locally. I got bad vibes from the article as the filmmakers wouldn’t say what the film was about -- as if someone else in this town would rush out to make the same film. Seeing this girl in person and later watching her act, the bad vibes grew; she doesn’t convey real skill or charisma, and I question the motives of people who cast her. She’s very attractive and young, and small movies like this one tend to get that type naked so they can sell the movie to distributors. She probably sees this as her way out of Mayberry. She might be right.

After the food, we went into the auditorium – maybe 30 people at most – and watched the kids onstage. The show began with short scenes from Romeo & Juliet and Midsummer Night’s Dream. Very easy stuff for this age group. Very few props, no costumes. This is exactly what I did in competitive drama, minus The Bard. I was in two scenes, one from The Foreigner and one from Neil Simon’s Hotel Suite. The latter featured my first and only completely blank; I simply forgot everything, and we improved the rest. I got overconfident and thought I knew it. I never let it happen to me since.

But back to this night. When the first scene started, Your Sister whispered to me, “I owe you one,” meaning she thought I was mortified for watching this. I shrugged it off. Hey, they’re high school kids. You can’t expect them to learn everything so early. After the scenes, they took turns performing two monologues each. D’Onforio did the “to be” speech in Hamlet and had trouble with the lines. He then followed up with one of the cliché melodramatic monologues offered to kids for drama classes. Horrible stuff. Because the kids at this age aren’t expected to show subtlety and range, the monologues give them a chance to display Big Acting Emotions. They just have to hit those spots. One girl worked two different accents, one as Eliza Doolittle. She was good, one of the better performers.

The worst was saved for last as a gal performed a song from South Pacific. At least, she was supposed to. She completely and totally blew it, singing maybe a third of the words. She had a nice voice from what I could hear, but she was painfully soft. Was she freaked for performing in front of her parents (the single worst scenario for a kid that age) or did freak because she hadn’t learned the song? Can’t tell. But as bad as that was, the last bit, a duet of “All That Jazz,” was just embarrassing. The two girls were performing the very last song from Chicago, except they weren’t singing, and they technically weren’t dancing. They were walking their half-forgotten, half-hearted choreography while a CD played the song from the movie soundtrack. They didn’t know it, and yet this got the loudest applause. One can only assume it sprang from gratitude that there was no more to follow. This is when I turned to Your Sister and whispered, “Now you owe me.”

I don’t blame the kids. I blame the director. She has not prepared them for a state competition. They didn’t project, they ran through their lines, they shuffled their feet, they didn’t know fundamentally what the material was about, and some simply didn’t know their lines.

Now let’s assume there were mitigating factors. As I said, performing in front of your parents is hell. You are reminded instantly of standing on stages in elementary school, and that feeling of being cherished but wholly off-key and clueless clashes with teen expectations of leaving home and being your own capable person. What makes it worse is performing in front of such a small group. It’s much easier to put on a show for a large crowd; with a smaller one, you are aware of each person, and you don’t develop a sense of the communal mind and reactions.

Then again, I don’t know that these kids were ever prepared to perform onstage. Some have in earlier productions, but competition scenes are rehearsed in classrooms and might be ultimately performed in classrooms. Or you might perform them onstage in front of all the other competitors. If those kids weren’t prepared to do this stuff onstage, it’s no wonder they were so soft and shy. And if they do perform onstage at the state event, they are gonna get hammered by the judges. It’ll be a slaughter, and the kids from stronger programs are gonna chuckle all the way through.

Your Sister suggests that their teacher comes from a musical background and doesn’t know how to direct acting. That may be. I know from experience that plays and musicals are directed differently. Acting in a musical is a distant second to the singing. It’s possible the kids are inadvertently hung out to dry. If so, I feel for them and wish I could have a week to work with them. I’ve been there. I can get them ready. But it’s not my call and offering my help would be like Angry Dad armchair coaching from the stands when Your Sister coached the team.

When we got home, I showed her some of my mementos from high school drama: pictures, programs, small plastic awards. Then we watched “Sex and the City” to cleanse the palate. She’s gonna go out with a teacher gal pal on Saturday and is encouraging me to have a bachelor’s night with guys or throw a small party. It sounds fun, but I don’t know how well I can entertain her teacher friends alone. Teachers talk shop. It’s what they do. I can’t offer that. Unless they only talk to each other, and I get enough of that teacher parties.


Picture of the Day
Mr. Yuk turns 35 this week.

In the news
Don’t tell Your Sister. Adam Vinatieri signed with the Colts. They just took one of the most clutch players in NFL history away from their biggest rivals.

Tuesday, March 21

So Far, Spring Is Lacking

Sleet and snow welcome you to the first day of Spring. Your Sister is still sick, but she was able to enjoy the Monday ritual of Wings ‘n’ Rasslin. She’s a trooper. We’re just two weeks away from WrestleMania, the giant PPV of the year, and I’ll offer you a run down of the card later to entice you and your Boston pals to hunker down for four hours to watch it.

I hope to go back to the gym today, depending on what the weather does. I may just do some exercise at home instead.

Picture of the Day
I tweaked the cover, and I like this version better. Can I convince the boss to use it? Stay tuned.


In the news
Bush signed a bill yesterday raising the debt limit. It’s the fourth time in his presidency that he’s done so. This means he doesn’t have to raise taxes or cut domestic programs, but it means we are running at a higher debt than before. This is conservatism?

+ + +

The Whitewater investigation of the Clintons may have finally ended as the Supremes refused to hear an appeal of a related case.

Monday, March 20

The Wachowski Weekend

Got home on Friday and helped Your Sister polish off some essay rough drafts. We went through a stack if about 25 since Tuesday, and my life is brighter for having them all behind me. We ate dinner at a new steakhouse owned by Juan, the guy who owns Cielito Lindo. It was much better than we expected. I mean, Juan has a great Mexican restaurant but a steakhouse is a whole other kettle of fish. And now, I have found my new favorite steakhouse in the area. Our waitress was a former student of Your Sister’s, and this happens virtually everywhere we go.

Saturday, we saw V for Vendetta. You know I’m a fan of the author, Alan Moore. I’ve got a copy of almost everything he’s written. And you know I was afraid of what this adaptation would become; the previous Moore-based films – From Hell and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – went laughably off the rails. Moore never lets his name be used to sell a film because of his blood feud with DC Comics and by extension its owner, Time-Warner. The lead-up buzz for Vendetta has been worrisome because the source material is so incendiary: Fascist future-set Britain is beset by an anarchist who kills bad bosses and blows up buildings. There’s an obvious worry over analogies to terrorism and the possibility that the story might glorify it. But that’s just dumb. Robin Hood and the Dukes of Hazzard could be called terrorists if one merely considers a rascal running about, frustrating and flouting the authorities. The book was made to warn against the spread of frenzied Margaret Thatcher policies in the early 1980s. The Wachowski Brothers, the guys who made The Matrix, have been working on this project for years; some say it even predates The Matrix. They updated it to reflect current technologies and concepts, but left whole the theme of combating government corruption and cruelty.

And it’s fabulous. There was a lot good about the Moore comic, and a lot that weakened the story. The Wachowskis judiciously kept the good and culled the bad, refining the story’s focus. It packs a wallop. Several times last week, I said that I couldn’t believe they made a movie out of this. Of all the comics to adapt to film, this was the least likely. It’s political, dark, intelligent, and complicated. Now, I can’t think of anyone who could have done it better, and I really think Moore might have been be proud to have his name on it. You still have to keep up, and you have to listen carefully, and consider what the imagery of the film really means in places, but it makes for an evocative, surprisingly emotional experience. I was moved to tears twice (but I’m a self-admitted sap). As with The Matrix, there are layers to the story and symbols, and as with The Matrix, I’m having a ball dissecting them. I was surprised to find the film is rated R; it doesn’t strike me as a particularly violent or gruff film. But it is a powerful one, and one I’d like to see again as soon as possible.

Many have tried to make political hay out of Vendetta as a Hollywood attack against the Bush administration. There are new bits of detail to connect the spread of fascism to modern troubles, but anyone saying the film explicitly attacks Bush is looking to be offended. Then again, there is a guy who sounds like Bill O’Reilly and the torture of political prisoners. If story elements hit close to home, doesn’t that suggest bothersome events are afoot?

But this is ultimately not liberal vs. conservatism; this is nobility vs. inhumanity. Vendetta is about principles and will to power. It’s about waking up and acting. It’s a great film.Not to say it’s perfect; the first time we meet V, you want to clobber him. He comes across as a dandy fop. But the Wachowskis have a history of weak beginnings to their films. The first five minutes of Matrix are the worst in that film.

We caught their first film, Bound, this weekend, and its first 15 minutes are wince-inducing. It’s ostensibly about two women who fall for each other and team up to screw over a low-ranking Mob thug for $2 million. It eventually becomes an interesting movie, but initially it’s just another soft-core Cinemax time-killer. Bound is an odd duck of a film because we follow the two women through their scheme, and then the movie smoothly switches over to the guy’s point of view as he acts differently then they expected. We’re supposed to watch this twerp squirm and fumble, but he summons up his courage and becomes a shocking capable guy. Unfortunately, the end of the movie switches back to us rooting for the gals, leaving the audience with no sense of stability. Bound reminds me a lot of the early Cohen Brothers films like Blood Simple, and while you can see touches that suggest what the Wachowskis would do later with Matrix, it’s still a giant, colossal leap between this tiny, cheap noir film to the Gnostic epic sci-fi, martial arts trilogy. Anyway, if you watch Vendetta, give it a few minutes to get its sea legs and then enjoy it.

Sunday, Your Sister got sick and stayed running at minimal function all day. I top-toed around the house, watching some March Madness and playing some games. I finished up Harry Potter. It’s such a small story that I’m surprised it became a sensation. But it is well-written, charming, and quick. I’m curious enough to try the next books.

Last night, we watched "West Wing," a show that has drastically shifted focus from the administration to the candidates for office. It's been a standout year of television writing and acting. Alan Alda is knocking it out of the park very week. I wish they could continue the show with the two candidates teaming up to create one ticket and winning the White House. A Smits/Alda White House show would get my hour of TV every week.

Sketch Day
I worked on a cover of the magazine last week. We didn’t have any decent color pictures for the front so I cobbled together brass instrument parts from online pictures and drew them on the computer. This probably isn't the finished product.


In the news
The Prime Minister of Iraq says Iraq is in a civil war. People living in other countries with political vested interest in success disagree. Because, hey, what does he know?

+ + +

Rumsefeld made the clichéd Nazi reference when defending the Iraq policy. Godwin’s Law states, “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.” This is also the desperate resort of those who argue hysterically no matter their political stance.