Letters to Holly

Friday, November 16

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me There's Nowhere to Eat in Asheville

It snowed yesterday but nothing stuck. Brutal cold after the Wednesday's lovely 70 degrees. Windy too.

We ate at The Noodle Shop and browsed Malaprop's before the NPR show last night. The panel was Paula Poundstone, Charlie Pierce, and Roxanne Roberts. Here's what THEY WON"T TELL YOU!

1) It lasts about 2 hours and is cut in half for broadcast.

2) They rerecord specific sentences as needed after the show. Also, Carl Kassel and Peter Segal constantly repeat their sentences if they stumble over words. This is edited out. Peter gets a smidge testy when the post-show retakes go on too long.

3) Peter warms up the crowd for about ten minutes before the show and then takes audience questions after it.

4) The edit out the really bawdy jokes. Paula said stuff I know won't make the air. Also she made surprising references to her legal trouble from a few years back.

5) The celebrity this week is Robby Benson, who now lives in the area. His interview before the "Not My Job" segment went on for about 15 minutes, and he won over the crowd with dry wit. But he used a ball joke that might not see the light of day, even though Charlie riffed on it later.

6) It's a simple set. Two podiums for Peter and Carl, a draped table for the panel and a cushy chair for the guest celeb.

7) The show begins with entrances cribbed from the Chicago Bulls including the arena PA guy and the Alan parson theme.

8 ) It's a great show this week. One segment sees Paula clueless about an Australia Santa ban on "ho ho ho," and she can't guess the answer to the question. For a good five minutes, the entire show tries to clue her in, and her inability to get it had the audience in tears.

9) The panel, seen live, comes across much sharper, much quicker with jokes to the point you wonder if it's staged.

10) Like watching sausage being made, the show loses its charm when you see it assembled. I'm still a fan, but the grandeur is gone.

We exited the theatre around 10 p.m. and discovered that everything was closed or practically vibrating from the live band playing inside. No snack date for us. I was starving and grabbed fries from McDonald's on the drive back.

Picture of the Day
The set at the Diana Wortham Theatre.

Thursday, November 15

400

Blogspot says this is my 400th post. Yea.

FYI, Best Buy is selling West Wing Seasons sets for $15 each. I don't know if you collect these things, but we were cuckoo of West Wing Puffs, and when Your Sis heard about the prices, she practically commanded me to go. The scene in Wizard of Oz when the witch sends out the winged monkeys from her castle tower? She looked like that. We already had 1 and 2, so I grabbed 3 through 7 during a rare lunch break on Wednesday.

I downloaded a freeware MP3 program called Audacity to make a commentary track on the play DVD. Not only am I geeking out over the technology, I'm vibrating with glee that I'm gonna make a commentary track. I should go MST3K on it.

One of her co-workers had issues with the latest issue of the school newspaper. The front page features a very large article about abortion. The subject matter isn't an issue here; it's the type of article written. It clearly is an opinion piece, albeit one written badly. Also, there's an interior picture with a kid flipping the bird in the background. The teacher is worried about backlash for both these things and asked me what kind of reaction to expect. Obviously, I can't predict that. I told her that when these are the kinds of problems that plague student-run papers.

The teacher who advises the staff is feeling overwhelmed. I've offered numerous times to help out with any concerns they have, to act like an unofficial adviser. The picture is unfortunate, but it happens. It happens on live sports TV coverage. The kid, who's clearly recognizable, should be in more trouble than the photographer or the editors.

The front-page article is, I'd wager, the best effort of a kid who doesn't understand the distinction between journalism and editorial. His editor should have said something, if she knew the distinction, and the adviser should have said something, if she knew the distinction. We have people who don't know papers making papers, and things like this happen. It's not actionable. It's merely incompetence. In the last paper, an article ran with ginned-up quotes attributed to a teacher. That's much worse than what's happening in this current issue.

Suddenly, it's cold. Literally, over night, it's cold. We're catching a taping of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me tonight, so you might hear Your Sister's laughter on this week's show.

I found a recipe for a simple glaze:
- 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
- 2 tablespoons orange or pineapple juice
- 1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
Mix together and brush. I made it last night on grilled chicken and pineapple. You don't have to only use this on meat. Any baked or grilled fruit will work well.

Picture of the Day
From the most recent shuttle flight.

Tuesday, November 13

Veterans Weekend

Your Sis and I had the rare three-day weekend off. She wanted to shop a bit, and we drove out of town after grabbing eats at the local bakery. She wants pearls for Christmas, and we looked at a few options at mall jewelry stores. The prices are reasonable, depending on how fancy she wants to get. I picked up a GI Joe t-shirt because I'm a manchild.

Then the show took up Saturday and Sunday evenings.

We had a lazy Monday with grocery shopping bolstered by Starbucks. We watched the entire play DVD, and I realized that for whoever I give a copy, I must add a commentary track. I gotta figure out how to do that.

The director is still sending emails accusing the managers of "insubordination" and accusing actors of being "amateurs" and "loose cannons" if they had any trouble with the lights. I don't think she meant to include me in those categories, but she did so in the last email sent exclusively to me. She wants to meet to exchange gifts. The artistic director of the theatre sent out a mass emails saying the problems with this show will be addressed in a theatre pow-wow and would never happen again. The drama continues to pursue me like a yapping dog.

The NFL Contest
HER PICKS
NFC: New Orleans (4-5), St. Louis (1-8)
AFC: Indianapolis (7-2), New England (9-0)

MY PICKS
NFC: New Orleans (4-5), Carolina (4-5)
AFC: New England (9-0), San Diego (5-4)

Indy has now lost two in a row. I won my fantasy week to make my online team 5-5.

Picture of the Day
Battlin' lawyers!

Monday, November 12

Last Show

Much like the play itself, one is left wondering who the real bad guy is and to what degree either party had dirty hands.

Here's what I could piece together through backstage conversations and emails: The videographer was brought in by the back-seat director. He's worked with this theatre before, but this is his first time taping at the courthouse. He allegedly told the back-seat director that the 3-foot lightstands on the edges of the attorney tables were creating hotspots. They didn't have the oomph to cover a wide area, and the close foot traffic made them too apparent. When the attorneys stood near them, we apparently lit up dramatically. The videographer had to tape the show twice because of sound issues and wondered if the second taping could be done without lights. The back-seat director then told the stage managers about the concern. The director wasn't at those shows if I remember right, so she wasn't consulted.

Tradition and good manners dictate that the director hand over the keys to the show once the show opens. Actors trade stories of those occasional directors who insist on making notes and changes for each performance, including after the last show. It would be abnormal to call up the director at this point regarding the lights. The stage managers got the comment about the light and had to make a decision. They surveyed the actors as to what effect removing the lights might have, but it wasn't worded that way. I got the question as "what do you think of the lights." I wanted to take care in answering, because while I didn't know about the video problem, I remembered that the stage managers built the light stands. I didn't want to knock their handiwork, but I did say I had problems with the lights, although I could and had work around them. Enough people answered similarly, and the managers shelved the lights. The camera guy didn't like them, and the actors wouldn't miss them.

When the director came to see the show again on the second weekend, she noticed the lights and asked about them. Unfortunately because the videographer talked to the back-seat director, she took it as another of his ploys to undermine her and became convinced the managers had been turned against her. She confronted the husband before the Friday show and then the wife in a between the first and second acts. The wife manager claims the director also noticed a Kleenex box on the witness stand, claimed it didn't belong, accused the manager of making yet another change behind her back, and threw it at her. This would have happened in front of the audience. That box belonged to the courtroom and had been in that position since we started rehearsing almost two weeks before. I nudge it toward the crying widow in Act One. She never mentioned it during that time. The lights were brought back in.

Sunday morning (more than 24 hours later and seemingly after the dust had settled) , the director sends out an email excoriating the managers, defining their roles in comparison to hers and accused the back-seat director of sabotaging the lights to both screw her over and, honest to God, getting rid of the lights so all the actors would appear as ugly as him. She repeated her "phantom voter" term to refer to actors who, as she saw it, didn't have the courage to approach her with concerns and thus had no place in "show business." I didn't know to what degree my comments about lights may have been mentioned, and she went to great lengths to personally insult the managers, and I had to respond.

Theatre is an outlet and conduit for experimentation and artistry, and the success of those efforts bloom in a structure of discipline and professionalism. And one of the absolutes of theatre is you don't screw with crew. When wronged and ornery, they can ruin you onstage and backstage. They are the field generals and the wardens. I have stage managed once, and before that I already had respect for that particular office. And it extends to the make-up folks, costumers, tech folks, ushers -- all the people who make the show work but don't get a curtain call.

I've seen this director handle the back-seat guy badly, and I've seen her juggle a production stung by chaos almost every day: Cast changes, absences, diva behavior, lack of access to the performance space and props, etc. But nothing excuses such an outburst -- intentional and public -- toward stage managers when they were doing exactly what they are supposed to: make decisions when the director is away. So I emailed everyone as I responded to her.

She replied that there were private messages from the back-seat director that proved that he had made all this up in an effort to belittle her, and my comments proved that no one would stand up for her. She would not be there for the last performance nor for the cast party. And she added that he "had won after all." I almost pulled a muscle rolling my eyes. "Paranoid" doesn't begin to cover it. I don't care why she'd rather be patted on the head then on the back, but if she doesn't care to exert her proper directorial authority in a professional way, I have no reason to stand up for her in any argument.

And I still had a show to do. There was obvious comment on the emails backstage before the show and during the cast party. People were happy with what I had said and how. The stripper said she knew things had gotten bad if I were responding to the accusations. I've bitten my tongue during this production. I have this venue to vent if I have to, and as I always said, this isn't my sandbox to clean up. But, again, you don't fuck with crew. The defendant is determined to write the board of the theatre with all the war stories. She used to be on the board, and she might have some weight to her comments. But even if the director isn't asked back, the back-seat guy would still be there to badger another director for potentially the fourth consecutive show. He may not have been the problem in this last specific scrum, but he's no angel either. I do make sure to hide the book I bought for the director so no one is tempted to scribble in anything mean-spirited. I did ask her to email me her mailing address so I can at least send her this gift. If she doesn't, I'll keep it. I'm tempted to refund the money for everyone who pitched in $2.

The housekeeper and I run lines before Act One so she wouldn't miss any lines. She also organized a cast party after the show and lines up the dishes and directions. She keeps a kosher house and wants to approve the dishes we offer to bring. I make my roasted potato and onion dish (chop them up, add oregano, basil, coriander, bake for 25 minutes at 450), and she OKs it. This is a short run for a show; we're all used to nine or 15 performances, and we have plenty of energy for this last go. No senioritis here. We do it well. We have a good crowd, and they pick up on the details early. No one nods off in the jury this time thankfully (I didn't mind; it gives me fewer eyes to lock onto during my arguments). The Swedish housekeeper blanks but I steer her back on course quickly enough. The first housekeeper gets all her lines in. I'm aware that I each line I deliver is the last time I have that scene or moment, and I try to give them a proper send-off. I feel good about the closing argument, but again get no "guilty" verdict. It's a clean sweep for Doc.

The cast party goes well, and we slowly peel off for the evening and say our good byes and congratulations. I'll miss this cast. They gelled very well despite the hiccups. We had game actors digging into their roles, determined to do the lines justice without hamming it up or carrying a method-acting air. It was a good atmosphere backstage, and the focus was on presenting a strong show. I don't fault this ensemble for bad management, and I intend to see them in subsequent shows as a sign of community-level acting efforts. I'm happy with what I did, even if I can't bring myself to watch the whole DVD just yet (I'm hypnotized by my lack of chin). The two months seems to have flown by, and now I have to become accustomed to free evenings again. But there are projects here and there to tackle, and I'm not soured enough on theatre to ignore audition listings for other companies. There is a musical I might try in the spring: School House Rock. I've worked up the nerve to sing onstage.

Official play website

Rehearsals
Fifth Show
Fourth Show
Rehearsal Party
Third Show
Second Show

First Show
Biding Time
The Last Rehearsals
Countdown: Two Rehearsals
Extra Drama
Countdown: Three Rehearsals
Countdown: Four Rehearsals
Countdown: Five Rehearsals
Countdown: Six Rehearsals
Countdown: Seven Rehearsals

Clock is Ticking
My Big Speech
Punching a Cop Is Bad, Right?

Act Two Redux
Friday Through Sunday
Eggshells
Drama!
Getting Serious
Our First Friday
Act Three Lines
Dusting Off Act One
Line Trouble
End of Second Week
'Go and Do Likewise, Gents'
Script Work
J'Accuse
Cramming
Walking and Talking
Readthrough
Marking the Floor

Auditions

First Night
Second Night
Third Night
Fourth Night

Sunday, November 11

Fifth Show

I made sure to eat plenty during the day. We lunch at a Biergarten in Asheville and I down potato soup right before donning the costume. Backstage, I'm impatient to start. The first housekeeper asks to run our lines for Act One. We do the first four pages which climaxes in a very emotional scene; she's worried most about this part, describing the body on the sidewalk and the defendant's reaction. She stops the reading there, saying the rest of the scene is the easy part.

So, of course that's the part she drops completely during the performance. It's not a vital section -- it's a bit of comedy that also shows my character can be brusque -- but it's half a page. My attorney ends the examination, and she volunteers what she thinks is vital information. However, she states that she doesn't know what is actually going on and meekly apologizes. My character treats her like a parent questioning a lying child and dismisses her again. None of this happens tonight. When we get backstage during intermission, she's aghast. There's no way I could have salvaged that chunk; I can't end my questions and then ask "are you sure that's all?"

The courtroom air is mighty dry, and I chug water all during Act One. It's a nice audience, and we insert longer pauses to allow them to laugh. The private eye is feeling his role tonight, and the cop apparently has family here, as he gets big laughs for very small details. I drop a line in Act Two, but the other actor doesn't even flinch. The Swedes -- housekeeper and bookkeeper -- and the stripper go over big tonight. I nail the cross examination of the defendant, and in fact, it may be my best third act so far. But it doesn't get me a "guilty" verdict. I don't think I was in any way distracted by the song going through my head right before my closing argument (Duran Duran's "The Reflex"), and in fact it may have distracted me from cramming over my lines right before I stand up. This happens sometimes; a song will repeat in my head, sometimes while I'm onstage.

Sunday's show is our last, and I have the mix of relief and surprise that it's over so quickly. I intend to attack the script for this show, wringing out all I can without turning into a ham. Well, a bigger ham.

Oh, lovely. just got his email from the director about the stage-lights:

I am well aware of the behind-the-back manipulation that went on to eliminate my lights. Show business attracts many pathetic little egos who can never be wrong even though it might make them look more attractive in the long run. I can only assume that the pathetic little ego who bulldozed his way into eliminating the lights merely did not want to be ugly alone.

...

Please accept my apology for the lights' placement on Friday Night. The Stage Managers got surly and resentful and did not set them in their proper positions.
So I broke my embargo and spoke up:

I'll respond to one particular point only:

"Please accept my apology for the lights' placement on Friday Night. The Stage Managers got surly and resentful and did not set them in their proper positions. "

We were asked backstage what the actors thought of the stage lights, specifically the actors sitting in front of them during the show. I answered honestly that they were glaring in my eyes and awfully warm. I worked around it. I turn my head more toward the witnesses, and I chug a lot of water. This wasn't so significant an issue that I felt a need to petition against it. But I was asked, and I answered.

I'm on the periphery on this stage-light conversation and others here in email or during this production, and I saw the question as springing from concern and not an effort to manipulate a stage detail for ego's sake. I'm positive that what I said was a factor in their decision. But the conversation we had was not a surreptitious effort to undermine you, Liz, or plant a flag on this production. Neither the question nor the answer was communicated -- nor I believe intended -- that way.

I can only speak for my own experiences with them, but the stage managers have been nothing but class and support and guiding hands to make this show the best it can be. I've seen no conspiracy of phantoms or Iagos to mold this show in your absence. To paraphrase Magda, I am under the director, and I religious actor and respect director. I'm not the only one.

And I intend, as I'm sure we all do, the make this last show a humdinger. I've dipped deep into the DA office petty cash to encourage the jury to get me the right verdict for once.


Official play website

Rehearsals
Fourth Show
Rehearsal Party
Third Show
Second Show
First Show
Biding Time
The Last Rehearsals
Countdown: Two Rehearsals
Extra Drama
Countdown: Three Rehearsals
Countdown: Four Rehearsals
Countdown: Five Rehearsals
Countdown: Six Rehearsals
Countdown: Seven Rehearsals
Clock is Ticking
My Big Speech
Punching a Cop Is Bad, Right?

Act Two Redux
Friday Through Sunday
Eggshells
Drama!
Getting Serious
Our First Friday
Act Three Lines
Dusting Off Act One
Line Trouble
End of Second Week
'Go and Do Likewise, Gents'
Script Work
J'Accuse
Cramming
Walking and Talking
Readthrough
Marking the Floor

Auditions

First Night
Second Night
Third Night
Fourth Night



Picture of the Day
Jesus Christ.