Letters to Holly

Friday, March 30

Another Race to Run

Mayberry will hold another 5k race on July 4, and I was sent a package asking for registration. It's a few weeks before the Orlando trip, and I want to get back into the regular running. So, I'm doing it. I now have a definite goal for my exercise. I have almost four months to prepare. This is muy feasible.

Fried up some chicken last night, and we found ourselves, somehow watching a ballroom dancing competition on PBS. It's just like figure skating without the ice. The dancing has little to nothing to do with the music. It was apparently filmed at a convention. A short segment allowed us to watch a guest commentator shop at various booths set up in what appeared to be a hotel floor, and all the vendors were hawking clothing and accessories.

I have a question for you: One of my printer guys has a daughter or niece who's thinking of the Peace Corps. He wants inside info. He wonders if he can get your email address so you can talk to him/her about it. Barring that, he thinks I can give enough dirt to satisfy them. I don't know about that, but I'm willing to try. She's not out of high school yet, so she has some time to mull it over or grow out of it.

Picture of the Day
I know nothing about it, but I found it yesterday.


In the News
It's quite despicable to suggest that Press Secretary Tony Snow timed his cancer surgery and chemo so he could miss out on the media attention on various administration headaches, but, man, did he excuse himself at a good time. Interim secretary Dana Perino has her hands full learning the job amid all these swirling questions on Iraq, Gonzales, Iran, Congress, and the usual crazy questions coming from the back of the press room. But she seems like she's doing a good job. I like her attitude and willingness to concede a "fair point" made by reporters when citing inconsistencies. Snow's going to be gone awhile, and she might talk her way into a full-time gig. By the way, this would be my dream job regardless of who was the president.

Thursday, March 29

Running for the Border (Eats)

I took a day off from exercise Tuesday and made up for it by running last night. I was worried again about my rib cage flaring up on me, but instead my legs started to ache. That never happens when I run. I even stretched out for a decent time beforehand. Anyway, I got a mile run, before I walked for about a hundred yards and ran another half mile. This put me right at downtown Mayberry. Then I walked back home. Well, I walked toward home but saw Your Sister leaving the school, and I hopped in the car with her. She drove us back downtown for a Mexican dinner. I don't know if eating Mexican ruins the benefits of a run, but I was hungry and the food is always good.

Picture of the Day
The U.S. cover to the last Harry Potter book. The book is scheduled for release the same weekend I'm in Orlando for a wedding.

In the News
Because Congress has subpoenaed emails sent throughout the administration, White House employees have started using a different email server, a private server not covered by public access regulations and also possibly exposed to industrious hacking.

Wednesday, March 28

WrestleMania: The Sales Pitch

No plants were missing when I got home Tuesday. And since this is a a brief entry, allow me to extol the virtues of watching a four-hour wrestling pay-per-view.

Watching wrestling on TV used to be a big deal. You only got one pre-recorded show a week for each company, and you rarely saw any champions defend their titles against credible challengers. The TV shows were designed to get people to the live events. In the last 10 years, however, TV shows have evolved to sell PPVs. Because, at one time, there were three wrestling companies on national TV each week, the two big dogs (WCW and the WWF/E) started broadcasting live, head-to-head, to outdo each other in the ratings. This included putting their champions in matches on a weekly basis, effectively diluting the appeal of slapping down $30 for a title match on a PPV.

In another way of out-gunning the competition, WCW and WWF/E started monthly PPVs. Each company had their A-level, annual blow-out PPV, and WrestleMania is the WWE's. This is the culmination of months of writing and plot development. Feud end at this show, and new ones kick up in the subsequent weeks. WrestleMania is the season finale for the company. This will be the 23rd 'Mania (I've seen at least 16 of them), nd it takes place in front of an estikated 70,000 fans in Detroit's Ford Field. While it doesn't look on paper like a potential showcase of skill and maneuvers, it does have a lot of intrigue.

United States Champion Chris Benoit vs. MVP
Benoit is an underrated showman. He's attained virtual sainthood from devoted fans of effort and technical skill as he busts his ass in every match. He doesn't phone it in. Never. He's not an acrobat or a brawler or a freak. But the crowds love him because he looks like he can legitimately cripple you with leglocks and armbars. MVP is very new, very green, and not very good, really. He has no beef with Benoit; he just wants a belt. The consensus is that the company will give him the title to see if he can develop into a marketable personality. Benoit's been here before; he put over a guy named Orlando Jordan who was dead weight in the ring. The guy had no charisma or flow, and the title eventually went back to Benoit in a match that lasted about two minutes.
Benoit Finishing Move: the Crippler Crossface, a neck wrench that also incapacitates the shoulder.
MVP Finishing Move: The Play of the Day, a silly-looking neck twist using a leg.
Why You Should Watch: Benoit will often make you think the match is real.

Kane vs. The Great Khali
Kane has gone through a lot of refinement as a character. He originally was the mute, scarred brother to the Undertaker. He wrestled in a bright red bodysuit and mask. Then he was given an electronic voicebox, and his suit was pruned here and there. Then they took his mask, and let him talk. Now instead of an evil, sadistic, depressed hermit, he's now a popular, feisty brawler. He's a little under seven feet tall. He's also a great big-guy wrestler. He jumps off the turnbuckles, he works the crowd, and he's not afraid to make his opponent look good. Khali is a legit 7-feet tall tree of a man. He can't wrestle for shit, but at his size, all his has to do is slam opponents and yell a lot. Kane is being asked to carry Khali to a decent match all by his lonesome. The freak is a tradition in wrestling, and this is a freak parade.
Kane Finishing Move: The chokeslam. Pick a guy up by his neck and throw him to the ground.
Khali Finish Move: The same, but with both hands.
Why You Should Watch: The sheer spectacle of it. But no one's expecting much from these guys.

Women's Champion Melina vs. Ashley
Ashley is the newest WWE gal to pose for Playboy. Melina has the belt and envy for Ashley's new prominence. Neither woman is any damn good in the ring.
Finishing Move of Either Woman: Removing her clothes, screaming.
Why You Should Watch: Because you're a 14-year-old boy who has no access to a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed
The WWE bought ECW a few years back and has recently revived the franchise for a spin-off wrestling company. But they've watered down the appeal of ECW by populating it with WWE castoffs. This is an eight-man tag match between the castoffs and the old guard.
Why You Should Watch: To see new guy Marquis Cor Vonn unleash The Pounce, my new favorite finisher. This is him nailing Sabu with it. Every time I see this move, I laugh like a child. It is eight shades of awesome.


Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Eight men try to climb a ladder and grab a suspended briefcase with a contract inside guaranteeing a title shot at any time between this match and the next 'Mania. The match includes two daredevil brothers, an Irish brawler, a straight-edge martial artist, a guy from Houston who acts like he's British royalty, a toothy iconoclast, an arrogant weasel, and a guy from Wisconsin.
Why You Should Watch: If any match can steal the show from the title bouts, this is it. The stunts will be amazing.

Battle of the Billionaires
This is the event of the night. WWE owner Vince McMahon and Donald Trump are each betting his hair that a handpicked representative will win in the ring. Vince chose Umaga, the wild Samoan Intercontinental champ, while Donald chose ECW champ Bobby Lashley, a man entirely composed of muscle. Anything goes. The losing billionaire is shaved live on TV right after the match. The match is officiated by WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Umaga's Finishing Move: The Samoan Spike, a taped thumb to the throat.
Lashley's Finishing Move: a running body slam.
Why You Should Watch: It's going to be an all-out train wreck.

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Cena is the young-stud kid who loves rap. Michaels is a WWE stalwart from the early '90s. This is a match to prove, simply, who's the best guy on the Monday night show. Cena is polarizing; the kids love him, but the adult men hate him. He's not very good in the ring, but he's got a lot of charm. Michaels is this generation's best wrestler. He can do it all, and he can turn any match into the best match of the year.
Cena's Finishing Move: The F-U, an over-the-shoulder body slam.
Michaels' Finishing Move: Sweet Chin Music, a standing side kick to the chin.
Why You Should Watch: No matter who wins, Michaels will earn your applause.

World Heavyweight Champion Batista vs. Undertaker
The match with the most invested appeal. Undertaker, a tall guy who might be a magical druid motorcyclist, is 14-0 at 'Mania. He's ever held this title (there are two top titles because there are two rosters with their own shows -- one of Monday, one on Friday). Batista is the classic WWE champ, a muscular powerman, and he thinks he can beat the Dead Man in a title match. That's essentially the hook. Can Taker beat this hulk of a guy to win the belt and keep his streak alive? 'Taker is the old proud lion of the WWE, and he's such a good performer, he's made this cartoon gimmick work way past the golden goofy days of the WWF.
Undertaker's Finishing Move: The Tombstone Piledriver.
Batista's Finishing Move: The Batista Bomb, an elevated body slam.
Why You Should Watch: The Undertaker's entrance. Darkness, smoke, organ music. It's like a kick-ass Phantom of the Opera.

Picture of the Day
There's a hexagon on Saturn. It's 15,000 miles across. It's a geometric cloud formation at the north pole. Weird.




Tuesday, March 27

A Stern Fern Talking To

After receiving no return call from the suspected plant pilferers, I called them back yesterday as soon as I walked in the door from work. They were home. I asked to talk to the husband, and when he heard "something's missing from the yard," he got his wife on the phone. I explained politely that we discovered a hole in the yard, and she immediately blamed moles. When asked how big the hole was, I said it's exactly as big as the plant that's no longer there.

Then I just said it: we've been told by more than one person that you take plants from this yard you used to own. She shouted it was a lie but then offered a rationale. She said she got permission from the second homeowners' gardeners to take what she wished. I said we are not those people, and we want the plants that we still have. She asked if she could buy saplings from one of the trees, and I said it was a decision Your Sister needed to make. I said we'd call her back to say yea or nay. She said she'd come over, and I repeated, no, we'll call you back first.

I think my point was made, and I think we all knew what happened. The husband wanted clarification from his wife as to who gave permission, so I suspect he didn't know she had not asked us. She did try to use the "we paid for all those plants" card, but I reminded her that they subsequently sold them all when they put the house on the market.

I don't think this will continue to be a problem. I hope not. Your Sis said she would indeed call and work out an arrangement. She doesn't mind splitting offshoots of any of the plants, and she's willing to divvy up the batches of flowers. But we don't want unsolicited pruning. We have plans for the yard, and they don't include arrogant, elderly plucking.

Your Sis has to create a small presentation for a local technology committee about her classroom equipment. She doesn't have to present it to them but instead at a display at the library that the public will be encouraged to browse. She's been given one of those science-fair triptychs to decorate for the project and an absurdly short deadline. So, like the parents of a lazy fourth-grader, we'll slap together a design this weekend. We have some ideas, but the lack of a Kinko's in the area means we have to rely on our desktop printer. I told her I can help as much as possible so long as we finish before 6:30 on Sunday in order to prepare for the PPV party.

I did some small exercises after the phone call, and I intend to run a little tonight. I have a wedding to attend in July, and I'd like to tone up before then. I have plenty of time.

Picture of the Day
From a Russian LiveJournal:


In the News
The Fifth Amendment is a good thing and a necessity at the time the Bill of Rights were created. But today, really, if you plead the fifth, you're admitting guilt by escaping accountability. And a Gonzales aide says she'll do this if called to testify in front of Congress, and then she declared she was taking an indefinite leave of absence. Now that's quality stonewalling. Monica Goodling is the the Justice Department’s White House liaison. Her office is the conduit that makes this scandal noteworthy. A lot of left-wing folks are comparing this scandal to Watergate and even Al Capone's arrest on tax evasion. It's much too early in this new scandal to start saying that, but we are seeing something possibly more offensive than lying to a committee: a steadfast refusal to drop pretense when documents expose a lie. Not that this is solely a Republican tactic, mind you.

+ + +

Tony Snow, the White House press secretary, has learned his colon cancer has returned. Hopefully, he'll again defeat it with chemo and return to his job. Although, if he had to resign to fight this, no one would blame him. He's looked a bit haggard lately, and I was among those who assumed the rigors of the job were getting to him. Looks like, instead, his health was declining.

+ + +

This blurb was on my favorite sports writer's blog today:
"I wanted to write you without my name or anything, just as a student of UNC. Our loss last night was tough -- some might say heartbreaking. But what's worse is that it may overshadow the death of a true Tar Heel. Jason Ray, our mascot, died this morning. He was the very first person I met at UNC. He was helping freshmen move into the dorms as a part of Intervarsity (a Christian ministry on campus). The elevators were all jammed up, so he helped me cart a refrigerator, futon, and all my other stuff (and girls have a lot of stuff) up NINE floors in the 100-degree heat. And he did it happily. We became friends and I spent a lot of time around him. He let me wear the ram head one time because I thought it'd be funny (even though I'm sure he wasn't supposed to). You've probably gotten a lot of e-mails about yesterday's game, but could you maybe mention Jason in your article, if only for a second. The world deserves to know who this person was. I don't just want him to be a 'UNC mascot dies' blurb on ESPN.com. He was such a good person. A true friend. What every Tar Heel should aspire to be."
I heard about the injury Friday night. He was hit by a car near his hotel in New Jersey. This was a few hours before the game.

Monday, March 26

Things Are Gone

I picked up my car from the dealership Friday afternoon and discovered to my utter amazement, shock, and suspicion of reality that the actual cost was lower than the estimate. This never happens. This is the equivalent of finding a nine-leaf clover that plays saxophone. Once Your Sister scooped me off the floor, we drove into downtown Mayberry for an early supper. There, another shock awaited us: A favorite restaurant, closed due to fire last year, had quietly reopened. In we went, and eats was ate. That night we watched some more of Lord of the Rings, and we're halfway through the approximately eight-hour extended cut of the last film. When this is finished, Your Sis has decreed we shall watch the Matrix trilogy again. And who am I to argue?

On Saturday, I arose early for a much needed haircut. I arrived a bit early and walked to the local boulangerie for croissants. They have a chocolate croissant that is light-years beyond 'indulgent'. I got back home, and we prepared our documents for the annual tax appointment in Asheville. Not only was it relatively painless and quick, but we are getting a nice chunk of change back from Uncle Sam. Also, while strolling the town, I showed Your Sis the R2D2 box (see below). She hit Tops for Shoes while I killed time in a variety of stores, including a record shop where I picked up a Nurse With Wound CD I haven't heard since college.

We stopped by some other stores on the way back home to buy her warm-weather school clothes, and, of course, crackuccino. The night ended with a surprise birthday party for Kathy. Travis called me about two hours before to ask if I would bring CDs, and we got in time for me to burn some mix discs for her to keep after the party. It was a fun time, and we invited a handful of folks to our place next weekend for the WrestleMania PPV.

But earlier in the day we noticed one of the roadside plants was missing, and a large hole was where it used to be. We were stumped as to why anyone would take a plant, but I suspected the neighborhood kids. Nothing else was missing.

On Sunday, I bought a New York Times and read on the back porch. It was great weather for it, and after the read, I ran around the neighborhood in my newly purchased wicking shirt. It's the first uniform-like outfit I've worn since high-school basketball. I did pretty well for a long run, but my diaphragm was hurting, and the afternoon heat was killing me. I usually run later in the day. After I cleaned up, Your Sis said she talked to a neighbor about the new lawn hole and was told that the original house-owner would return to reclaim plants. She did this after selling her house to the couple we bought it from. We called them, and they confirmed it. Well, now I was pissed. Vandalism is one thing, but taking items from a property sold years ago is almost crazy. I called the couple and left a message on their machine to call me back. I don't expect to hear anything, but if we did contact them, we have arranged a proposal. When Your Sis is off for Spring Break, she will host the woman, and they will divvy up the plants. She can have what she likes. But this is a one-time offer. Anything happens to our yard before that, and we call the cops. Anything happens after, and we call the cops. And I don't want to call the cops to complain about a plant-pilferer, but what else should we do? The theft is petty, but it's theft. We ended the night watching both Kill Bill films on cable TV. They had some really nice edits throughout, nothing ridiculous at all.

This morning, I sent off the food comic, and that project is now done and over and finished and ended. When the editor gives the OK, I'll post it here.

Picture of the Day
Send this to Postmaster General Kenobi.


In the News
After the weekend revelation that Attorney General Gonzales sat in on personnel meetings he claimed to have never attended, it seems his resignation is inevitable. But Gonzales is a longtime buddy of Bush, and the president may be determined to keep him no matter what. Again, the cover-up eclipses the event, and had these folks simply told the truth about what happened, we wouldn't face a constitutional showdown to force people to 'fess up.

+ + +

The UNC loss to Georgetown wasn't shocking after hearing their game on Friday, but their collapse at the end was. The team seemed to be replaced by randomly selected fans. Also, my brackets are all but ruined. I could still correctly pick the final between Ohio State and UNC with Ohio State winning, but I really hoped to have the Final Four right.