Letters to Holly

Thursday, March 1

A Talk With Zales

I filled out a customer survey online today with emphasis on poor service. I requested to be contacted for details, and I just got off the phone with a regional manager. She wanted to know what happened, and I spelled it out while saying repeatedly that I wasn't searching for any compensation and that I recognized a distinction between the employees and the franchise. I just wanted an adult to know that the kids were misbehaving when they were alone.

And she said the right things. From my survey information, she knew which store I was talking about. She said that store was not performing well of late (the whole mall is on its last legs) and had been given a new manager recently. She said corporate policies may have kept the manager from firing bad employees, including yon monkeyfuckers, for a certain amount of time. I don't know if that's the case here. I don't care. I told her that I wouldn't go back to that store, no matter what, and she said she understood. She said she she appreciated the feedback and steps would be taken so another customer doesn't get the same behavior.

So that's that.

That pledge to eat light ended exactly as soon as the pizza arrived at our door. It was miserable weather and Your Sis was napping as I got home. I scurried to the workshop and worked on the comic for a while. I set up my first perspective grid for the first panel: a classroom filled with kids at desks. As we devoured the pizza, we watched this week's "Lost." Maybe my favorite episode so far. It was a throwback to the first season with no appearance of the Others and an d a surprising amount of information exchange. None of this "you wouldn't understand" or "it's complicated." Then we watched a "South Park" and called it a day with a double cocktail of NyQuil.

I still can't make the blog labels work.

Picture of the Day
My photos arrived. Here's me right as Big Daddy skewers my plans for plantation domination.

Food Drunk

Your Sis returned earlier than expected last night minus a cellphone but eager to eat. She thinks she left the phone in the car in which she rode back, but that person won't be back to work until tomorrow. This bothers her because she lost track of something, not that she's addicted to her phone. She knows it's in town because she contacted me with it on the drive back. We ate at Juan's and split some alambres, and it was only after we finished that I told her I had already eaten dinner from Burger King. I assured her I wanted to have dinner with her once I knew she was available for it, but I do think I developed meat intoxication. When I was a younger man, I could wolf down two Whoppers in one sitting. I also developed a belly. No longer, says I. I'll eat like a bird today to make up for it.

When we got home, to help distract her from the phone and the trip, I gave her the ring. That seemed to work. She appears to like it. And it did fit after all.

Picture of the Day
Da ring.


In the News
Here's an interesting article on the administration's use of anonymity in its statements. The administration urges the press to refrain from identifying speakers so no quotes can be held against them later.

Wednesday, February 28

Silent Snakes on a Hill

Bachelor Night consisted of three events of varying quality.

I call the store yesterday to see if my ring came in. It did. Thanks so much for calling me, Zales. I get there and find the same two young guys working the cabinets as I saw two weeks ago. I give my name, and the one who didn't process my order initially retrieves my ring. He takes it out of the numbered ziplock bag and hands me a receipt to sign. The receipt states that the undersigned has inspected the ring for all requested repairs. I read this and wait to be given the ring. To inspect, you see. The clerk is baffled as to why I'm not signing. So I say, in small words, I need to see the ring first. He holds it for me but removes the tissue wrapping. Looks OK, I suppose. I just want the stone; I can pay for another fitting or sizing somewhere else. I give him the signed receipt. He walks to another counter to get a Zales box. And as he does he mumbles something to the other clerk. It's probably about my unreasonable behavior. I get the boxed ring without a "thank you" or "hope she likes it" or even a "good evening." Nothing. I'm now convinced these two are running the joint by themselves in the scary-ass zombie-movie mall.

So tomorrow I'm contacting Zales and telling them they have a store run by monkeyfucker frat boys without a lick of courtesy or professional demeanor. What do I expect to happen? Nothing. But I shall never give them one damn dime again. Zales, you equals dead to me.

When Your Sis comes back, I'll present her with the ring, and hopefully all this frustration will vanish.

I then rented two movies, Snakes On a Plane and Silent Hill. While at the Buster of Blocks I noticed, just three shelves over from the massive stack of Snakes on a Plane DVDs, a knockoff film called Snakes on a Train. I had no idea such a thing existed, but I picked up the Plane film confident it would be ten times better than some quicky film slapped together to exploit rental customers with bad hearing or bad memories.

But after seeing Plane, I don't know how much worse the Train film could be. Plane is just awful. It's no fun, it's too formulaic, and it lacks the willingness to wink at the audience. It's also pretty damn stupid. When there are five subplot points that make your Logic Sense tingle within the first ten minutes, you realize have booked yourself a flight on Horseshit Airlines. The biggest surprise was Julianne Marguiles, who most know as the curly-haired nurse from ER, the one involved with Clooney's character. I felt bad for her to be stuck in this film. Jackson looks not at all embarrassed to be here, but he has very little opportunity to let go. The cult of the film developed around him solely, and without him, the film is easily dismissed. I can't recommended even for camp. It's just that flat.

Silent Hill, based on a creepy videogame, is a nice surprise for those who like outright monster horror. It's smart and sleek, with no wasted time for needless character moments. I admire its work ethic. The villains is a little plastic, the scenario a little muddled, but it has great atmosphere and otherworldy menace, my favorite horror element. One actress calls it a mix of "Alice in Wonderland" and Dante's "Inferno," which is almost precise, but one recalls too easily Aliens as the mom descends to a mechanical maze to find her abducted daughter. I enjoyed this one scroll by, but sadly didn't find myself scared by it at all.

Picture of the Day
Really. They made it.

Tuesday, February 27

Bachelor Eve

Your Sis spent all of her awake time after work preparing for her work trip. One of the things we came up with for her classroom was a assigned paper where students write about historic events mentioned in their favorite songs. It's a gimme grade. Using block quotes on the lyrics stretches out the paper length and they can write about something they like. Instead, they've leaped beyond our convenience and decided to mail it in by writing about the Star-Spangled Banner and folk songs from the 1800s. We were thinking REM or Rage Against the Machine or Alan Jackson or Outkast or "American Pie." We even cited such examples. But they've taken the least fun route, and now we'll all have to slog through shanties and hymns. They're morons.

She left this morning and returns late Wednesday. She's also away this weekend. So I could spend my private time on the comic, but with my far-off deadline, It think I'll do very little productive work and slob it out. I even have a poker game scheduled on Saturday with Big Mama from the play.

Remember how the Valentine's ring was supposed to be in yesterday? Apparently the store didn't. Monkeyfuckers.

Picture of the Day


In the News
Cheney's trip abroad is not going well. Air Force 2 left Australia with some mechanical concern, and he survived what's being called a suicide-bomber attempt on his life. His trip's schedule include a surprise visit to Pakistan, and rumor has it that he's staying out of the country because the Libby trial jury is probably going to find against his former chief of staff. The jury lost a member yesterday after some alleged media exposure to the case, and it may have have been a former writer for the Washington Post.