Letters to Holly

Thursday, July 19

A Dream Fulfilled

After driving around the block twice to get in the right lane for Marrimon Avenue, I noticed the Exxon sign at the 240 off-ramp: "30 Flavors of Ben & Jerry Pints."

I've looked for the Steven Colbert's Americone Dream for months now, stretching back to winter. I remember the timespan only because Colbert gave up sugar for Lent and couldn't eat the brand-new product. It's not available in Mayberry. We check every Sunday when we get groceries. Nothing. Your Sister finally found a pint when she attended the AP workshop and emailed me a photo of her find. Rightfully, she gobbled it all up before she could return home. She said she liked it fine, but come on, it's Ben & Jerry's. Only the rare Roof Shingles & Raspberry could be turned down.

The Exxon sign gave me hope. I parked next to a beater with a dead-flat tire and found the ice cream cooler wedged between the fridges for beer and wine. And there they were. Two pints. I snatched them, paid, and put them in my lunchbox cooler to stay intact until I got home after feeding the pets. Yes, I could have bought them on the way home, but that would mean turning left just before the offramp intersection, and that seems impossible.

I got home and showed them to Your Sis, who finds herself craving chocolate as only a 30ish woman with an active reproductive system can. We stashed them in the freezer to enjoy after supper. After waiting a half hour following my standard stir-fry, we indulged. And now we are down to a half-pint (cue Little House music). We ate it while watching the last half-hour of X-Men 2, a film that holds up remarkably well compared to a slew of subsequent comic films.

It tastes very good. It's an outstanding vanilla with pieces of chocolate-dipped waffle cones and caramel swirls. I normally hate vanilla, but Your Sis has exposed me to it over these past seven six years, and I appreciate it more. This isn't my new favorite flavor, however. It's no Brownie Batter. But it is a good alternative that I wish we had more access to.

Speaking of Your Parents' house, I'm checking their mail for a UNC notice. Nothing is there yet, but you did get something from Edward Jones. I shook it, and it sounded like doubloons.

We watched the final round of VH1's World Series of Pop Culture, and it was shockingly easy. The first category involved naming Simpsons's characters. Major supporting guys like Milhouse and Otto too, not the Nutty Professor Guy or Lionel Hutz. The final question asked for the cast of Little Miss Sunshine, and it's an easy question as well except for that one teenage kid no one knows. And that's what eliminated the losing team. But, otherwise, I think I could win this with two planks of wood as my team members. You, Your Sis, and me? We'd clobber them all. Total victory.

We did not eat any potatoes, but we did sprinkle fresh garlic on the salads. It's very mild fresh from the garden. We're going to dry the rest in the attic.

I pack tonight for the Tampa wedding. I fly down Saturday morning and fly back Sunday morning. I don't think I'll have much chance to whoop it up before waking up early for the ride home.


Anonymous said...

love the new header.
enjoy the wedding weekend!
thanks for keeping your eyes open for UNC mail...it's pretty doubtful at this point, however. But thanks, nonetheless.

Gregory said...

Speaking of mail at Your Parents' house, I forgot to mention that the road crew gouged a trench in front of the house so deep that the mailman wouldn't risk reaching over it to deliver the mail. He also didn't leave it at the front door.

I'm hoping they finish up the stretch in front of their house before I get there today.