Letters to Holly

Tuesday, July 20

A Polite Venting

Your Mom is watching the boy this morning, and she's keeping her distance from me. She got the hint Saturday that I'm not happy with her managerial skills. Oh, I have no concerns about her watching the boy; I'm sure she'll do fine with him. But what cranks me up is when she asks us how we handle something -- milk management, bottle sterilization, etc -- and immediately suggests how to do it differently.

We know we're new at this. We know she handled three kids, often on her own. I'm not questioning her maternal bona fides. What I bristle at is this:

Me: We do it like this.
Her: OK. But, you know, what about if I do it like that?
Me: We do it like this. This works.
Her: OK. Good. Right. Or you know I could do it like this and such.
Me: [grinds teeth]

I'm sure my wiring is to blame. But when I'm asked my preference and then steered away from it, it's hard not be insulted. My preferences aren't based on thoughtless whim. I put some brain toil into it. There's a reason I or we do things the way we do. She wants to help. And she is. But being helpful also means maintaining procedures, not trying to improve all of them. I'll say no more. Except that her babysitting is very convenient today.

Picture of the Day
Promo images are popping up online for the next big Marvel movie, Thor. The throne room of Thor's dad Odin looks apporpriately extravagant. Thor is Marvel's fantasy superhero franchise, the rare epic setting distinct from the dozens of other city-bound hero titles. What pleases me here is the inclusion of Odin's ravens on the throne. That's a detail I appreciate.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sigh. i know. one might expect differently...the honoring of stated procedural preferences... when they themselves are very particular about the way things are done in their house.

hang in there, big guy.